People are Temporary. Diamonds are FOREVER!

It’s a brilliant plan, because diamonds are valuable; they’ll not want to throw them away and might feel too guilty to sell them off.  My future relatives will be forced to awkwardly hold on to Aunt Simone (half grossed out, half attracted to the glitter and shine) and pass her down from generation to generation.  Maybe more creepy relatives will follow suit.  Our eventual family jewel collection will quite literally consist of the FAMILY!  BWAHAHAHAAAA!!!  HAHAAA!! HAH!!! Hah…

Seriously though.

Lots of people are considering diamond cremation these days.  Most, unlike me, are not out to creep out relatives, but rather want to preserve the memory of a loved one.  There are plenty of companies to choose from, such as LifeGem (because love lives on), Memorial Diamonds (Always and forever), and Phoenix Diamonds.

How Does This Work?

The diamond cremation process is simple enough- after all, we have been creating man-made diamonds for years now using random carbon- why not use some carbon from a deceased relative instead?  The process, roughly put, involves purification (via high heat) to turn the carbon into graphite, lots of pressure and heat to turn the graphite into a diamond, faceting, and certification.

In most cases, you send cremated remains (companies specify an amount, such as 8 ounces, or send you a special box to fill, complete with velvet carrying bag, for shipping with dignity) or a lock of hair, wait 6-9 months, and ultimately receive a beautiful, sparkling diamond.

You have a wonderful range of choice when it comes to the type of diamond your ashes are used to produce.  Clearly you can choose the kind of cut you get, but you can also select color (ranging from yellow to blue) and color intensity (from pale to bold).

Also, you do not have to be dead (or have a dead body) to create diamonds from a special person.  You can send in a lock of hair from a living person if you choose, and they can most certainly create a diamond from that.  Sure beats holding on to your ex-girlfriend’s panties.

Alternatives

The cost of creating a diamond from a loved one’s ashes starts at around $3,000, which can be steep, especially if you’re looking at higher quality and/or quantity.  For those dying on a budget, less expensive alternatives have also entered onto the market.

Cremation Jewelry Crystals

[Photo from Cremation Solutions]

On Cremation Solutions‘ website, one can browse any number of lovely crystal glass gems that can be “created with a small amount of ash.”  It looks like you give them some ash, they mix it in with glass, and cut out the charming shape of your choice. Most of these Cremation Jewlery Crystals cost around $900, which is much less than the estimated $5,000 of a diamond.  Then again, you’re wearing ashes mixed in with glass, which is far less glamorous.

Pendants and Lockets

[photos form Everlife Memorials]

One can also purchase a number of different pendants and lockets that hold ashes, which look, as you can see above, perfectly unsuspicious.  There are many different styles and configurations.  Perfect Memorials, for example, sells a traditional looking starling silver cross.  Cremation Solutions offers more creative options, ranging from whimsical glass pendants (in colors such as eternal purple and everlasting gold) to rustic wood, to sleek, modern Jewelry Urns.  While prices can be as steep as $500, they also dip as low as $50.  The range of choices and sellers is HUGE.  It’s rather overwhelming.

Interesting Developments

A lot of people are making diamonds from ashes- not just from deceased relatives, but also from deceased pets!  This exemplifies the huge trend nowadays of how pets are seen as legitimate family members.  If more people than ever see their pets as human, why would they not want to immortalize them as diamonds?

Another interesting use of this technology is the diamondification of famous dead people.  In 2006, LifeGem began the process of turning Ludwig van Beethoven into diamonds using locks of hair that “have been authenticated and provided exclusively by John Reznikoff of University Archives.”  How insane would it be to WEAR Beethoven as an accessory?  Answer: very.

“Oh, John, what a charming ring”
“Why thank you, Wendy.  It’s Beethoven.”

LifeGem has also been contacted by various celebrities interested in raising money with diamonds made from locks of their hair.  No doubt Life Gem will be happy to help!

Maybe famous dead (and living) people can become the ultimate branded accessories?  It might sound outlandish, but… stranger things have happened.

See a Pattern?

You might find these products to be strange, but allow me to point out that this process of holding on to pieces of deceased loved ones and celebrities is nothing new.  Consider all the religious relics we have held on to over the years, as well as the Victorian habit of holding on to locks of hair.

Ultimately, turning humans into diamond keepsakes just isn’t that strange.  Actually, it’s pretty cool.